how NOT to be your authentic self

how not to be your authentic selfAs a coach, one of the things I hear the MOST from my clients is that they are tired of being someone other than who they are. It’s exhausting and frustrating. They want to be their true, authentic selves.

They might not always say it in those words. It might sound like this:

I’m tired of explaining myself to other people.

It’s like there are 2 of me: I am one person at work and a different person {at home or with my friends or when doing the things that I love}. 

I want to be more authentic. 

I don’t want to worry about what people think of me. 

I want permission to be who I am. 

I’m tired of being who someone else expects me to be. 

I need to focus on myself first instead of worrying about everyone else. 

I can’t talk to people about _______________. Everyone will think I’m crazy. 

There’s a voice inside of me that wants to be heard.

Do any of these sound familiar? I know I’ve said every single one of these at some point in my adult life.

And I hear them all. the. time. from the women around me and the women who come to me for readings or coaching. It’s an epidemic.

The problem is that sometimes being your authentic self is hard. It means standing your ground, being true to yourself, and not getting pushed around.

That doesn’t sound so hard, but for some people, it really is.

I mean, we’re often taught to be polite, to not hurt someone else’s feelings, to only say ‘nice’ things (or don’t say anything at all).

But what about the truth? Where’s the truth and the authenticity in that behavior if you are sacrificing your beliefs, your feelings, your desires, or your needs when you do that?

Let me give you a real-life example.

I just launched a 5-week program called ‘Clearing the Path: 5 Weeks to Awaken Your Intuition, Clear Your Empathic Channels, & Heal Your Emotional Overload‘. It’s geared toward women who are empathic or highly sensitive and soak up emotion and energy like a sponge.

What this program focuses on is clearing out and releasing anything stuck within you — anything that isn’t yours and whatever no longer serves you.

In other words, anything that stops you from being 100% authentically and completely yourself.

I talked to many women on the phone during registration. Every single person I talked to said ‘this sounds great!’ and, when I said I would send the link to register, they eagerly said ‘ok!’

Only about half of the women with that response actually registered.

And herein lies the problem. 

When I followed up with those who said ‘yes’ and then didn’t follow through, I got these responses:

Time commitment… so much on my plate now. Sorry!

I’ll get back to you.

I’m trying to get the funds together.

For the people who really wanted to do the program and had these same issues? They stayed in touch with me and asked questions. They did what they needed to do in order to sign up.

But for those who gave me the responses above and nothing else?

I’ll be honest with you — they are cover ups. Polite avoidance. Not wanting to hurt my feelings.

And they are thieves of authenticity. 

Those who said yes and then didn’t actually register? They didn’t really want to. But they didn’t speak their truth and now they have created yet another conflict within their energy fields.

And guess what will happen now. Those people will avoid me, or it’ll be weird (for them) when we see each other. They won’t comment on my FB Live videos and they won’t message me or respond to my messages. (Sadly)

Look, do I want you to take my programs? Sure I do. That’s why I create them. Because people need help in areas where I can help.

In fact, one of my students in the program created an intention statement to guide her to be her authentic self more often and in all areas of her life (not kidding!).

But what I want MORE than you taking my programs, is for you to be real. Stand up for yourself and what you want (or don’t want).

Stop creating conflict in your own energy fields. Stop adding more layers of stuff you’ll later need to remove in order to heal yourself.

If you don’t want to sign up for a program (of mine or someone else’s)… if you don’t want to buy something… if you don’t want to do something even if it seems harmless (for example, you don’t want to go to a movie because you’d rather go to bed early), then SAY NO.

Speak your truth. Be authentic to your own needs and desires. Keep your energy fields clean by being truthful so that there’s no conflict, guilt, hard feelings, or other entanglement within you.

You don’t have to be mean or rude about saying no. You can speak your truth with grace and kindness.

Whatever you do, take a moment to tune in to your truth, your needs, your desires, your likes, your dislikes, your preferences — who you really are — and honor her by being authentic and true to you. Because then, and only then, you can share your sacred medicine in the world and that’s what it’s really all about.

Diving into your authentic self can be a rewarding and fulfilling journey. You’ll awaken your intuition and activate your chakras. You’ll learn how to tune in to the magic of the Universe and connect with the Divine in deeper ways. If you want to explore the possibilities with this, set up a free SoulTalk call with me and we’ll chat about how to get you there.

Love,

Jen

 

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