The new spiritual midlife crisis for women (and why it’s happening)

spiritual midlife crisisTo all the women out there who are struggling. Who wonder what they’re supposed to be doing in life. Who can’t help but ask ‘Is this all there is?’

I get you.

To all the women who are questioning their marriages. Whose kids have grown and gone. Who have no more close friends. Who are feeling very alone.

I hear you.

To all the women getting restless in life. Burned out in your careers. Wanting so badly to contribute in a bigger way. And feel fulfilled in the process.

I feel you.

To all the women who are spinning their wheels. Trying to make something happen. Wanting to change but can’t figure out how. And who feel that the change they want is insurmountable alone.

I see you.

I can relate more than you know…

The Old Way

Are you familiar with the feminine lifecycle (also called the Triple Goddess)? The Maiden, Mother, Crone phases that we go through in our lives?

Ever heard someone called an ‘old crone’ or a ‘wise, old crone’? Yes, that.

The feminine lifecycle was defined as a way to describe the natural phases that a woman goes through in her life.

Maiden is where we start. The young girl trying to figure herself out. Learning about her body. Finding her place in her small, personal world. The vibrance of new life being born. The maiden lives in the “I.”

The Mother is the transition from “I” to “we” where she expands out into the bigger world and starts creating — birthing, if you will — things. Babies, family, careers, projects. The Mother is the caretaker, the nurturer. She puts her needs aside and becomes the creator of new Maidens so to speak.

Then the Crone is the transition from Mother into the wise, old woman. She is the teacher, the storyteller, the tough-love giver in her golden years. She is responsible for passing on her knowledge to the next generation. And then she fades off into the sunset of her death to become fertilizer for the next seeds of creation.

You can think of it this way:
—>>> the Maiden = spring (when the new shoots come up out of the ground; new life is born)
—>>> the Mother = summer (when things are in their fullest, brightest, highest life forms)
—>>> the Crone = winter (when things die off and return to nature to be born again)

But where is autumn? This is where you might be now.

autumn womanThe Updated Lifecycle for Modern Women

As life has progressed and our lifespans have lengthened, things have changed. The old Triple Goddess Feminine Lifecycle no longer quite fits.

Why? Because it leaves out the fall season that so many of us find ourselves lost in. I was one of the lost souls for a long time.

So I’d like to introduce you to where you might be now on the map of life.

Meet the Queen, the Goddess, the Warrior, the Muse, the Guardian, the Enchantress, the Alchemist, the Sage, the Seeker, the Healer.

Who is she? She is all of those things and more.

She is the one who can’t be named or squeezed into a category because now is when she is truly coming into her Self. Her true Self. Her authentic Self (which can be any of those things above or more).

The “being” that is her Soul is demanding to emerge from what now feels like a prison of suppression.

She wants to breathe. To create. To initiate. To serve. To contribute. To love. To express. To connect. To heal. To BE.

She wants to shift back from “we” to “I”, but in a different way.

She wants to brings her focus back to “I” in order to become a better version of herself in order to serve the collective “we” so that she can contribute to the highest and best good of all from a Soul-centered place. A place that both serves and heals herself and us.

And this is such a new way of feeling, that she often doesn’t know what to do when she gets here.

This is a different way of life than she’s ever lived and she has no example to follow. There’s no instruction manual at this point.

Hence, meet the new spiritual midlife crisis for women.

If this is striking a scary chord of truth within you, I promise you, this is a GREAT place to be and there IS hope. This is where the magic happens.

My Story

I used to be a database developer, and a good one at that. Even more importantly, I liked the work and was happy doing it.

I had a good corporate job making a 6-figure income, and I was destined to climb that ladder of success.

I had a good relationship and my sweet fur babies. I was creative and I loved doing crafts. I lived in a cute house.

I had a pretty good life.

But over time, I just wasn’t content. Something was missing. Something big.

My relationship started going down hill. I felt restless and held down.

I was creative but I couldn’t get myself to actually create anything. I was stuck in overwhelm, clutter (inside and out), and depression.

And the worst part was that I started to not like my work.

My job went from minor discontent, to dislike, to avoidance as much as possible (I was the lone member on my team at work and had little supervision so I could basically do what I wanted), to major discontent, to misery and hatred.

I HATED working for that company (even though they were a great company). I HATED what I was doing.

I felt like something was terribly wrong with me because I was working for someone else instead creating my own way. I was chained to a desk for the majority of my time manipulating numbers in a database instead of creating, healing, and impacting the world.

I felt like a loser!!

And I HATED the fact that I was some invisible robot working to make money and grow a business for someone else while my life, my heart, my desires got put on hold.

I was spiraling downward fast. I had “spirit cancer” and I had it bad.

But I knew in my heart of hearts that I was meant to do something else. That my Soul had a reason for being here. And I was determined to find it.

I couldn’t NOT keep looking. My Soul wouldn’t let me stop trying. So, out of desperation, I followed my Soul’s urges.

And over time, lots of readings, working with crystals, energy healing work, and lots of coaching and education on all of those things helped me find my way.

My purpose in this lifetime (which I found during that crisis) is to help you find yours too.

Signs that you might be in spiritual midlife crisis

So here are some clues to look for to let you know if you’re currently in the uncomfortable, possibly miserable, chrysalis trying to transform from the caterpillar to the butterfly, in your “fall” season.

Once you have the awareness of what’s happening and where you are, you can start taking the appropriate steps to create the transformation and healing you want.

Your possible signs:
crossroads>>> You are questioning your marriage because you have nothing left in common, he’s not interested in anything you’re doing, and you don’t feel supported or heard by him any more.
>>> There’s no passion or desire left in your relationship.
>>> Any close female friendships you had have long since faded into the sunset, so between that and your marriage you feel very alone in life.
>>> You are burnt out in your career. It’s no longer fulfilling. In fact, it’s making you miserable.
>>> You are exhausted from living in a way where you’re metaphorically fighting to get ahead or blowing things up, and you are dying instead to create, nurture, and heal.
>>> You are longing to be creative in some way. But, if you have some natural or trained creative skills, you can’t seem to make yourself do it (even though you know how), or if you don’t have the natural or trained skills, you use the excuse that you don’t know how to stop you from trying.
>>> You want to trust yourself to make different decisions and create change, but you are afraid and you don’t know how to do it.
>>> You know you need healing of some kind, but you have no idea what.
>>> Lots of things make you cry… or want to cry (but you hold it in as much as you can).
>>> You are curious about alternative and energy healing — you might even have inklings that you are a healer — but you don’t know how to find out.
>>> No matter how logical or analytical you are, you have become extremely drawn to angels, oracle or tarot cards, reiki, intuition, developing your psychic abilities, creating art, and the rest of the invisible world.
>>> You feel desperate to change your life to find your happiness AND you’re completely overwhelmed and confused with how to start changing.
>>> You’re starting to notice that some of the environments you’re in (i.e. work) are full of negativity and you hate it.
>>> You just KNOW that you’re supposed to be doing something bigger, and you have no idea what.
>>> You want life to have meaning, like you’re contributing something of value to the world, but right now it doesn’t and you don’t.
>>> You’re wondering who you really are.
>>> You’ve thought more than once ‘is this all there is?’ or ‘is this what I’m supposed to be doing?’ or ‘how did I end up here?’ or something similar.
>>> You really want to help people in a meaningful way.
>>> You are craving to create, make, and heal.
>>> And the biggest one, when I wrote above that I had “spirit cancer”, it hit a nerve of truth and you know you have it too.

Honestly, I could go but I think you get my point. How many of these feel true for you? The more that feel true, the more probable that you’re in a spiritual midlife crisis.

What to do next

Now, no matter how many of these feel true, don’t panic. There’s nothing wrong with you, and it’s NEVER too late to change your life!

You have simply entered your autumn season (or are getting close to it) which is a natural transition time for women (and happens somewhere between your late 30’s to early 60’s).

Here’s what I want you to do: go through the list above and really feel into each item. Which ones feel true for you? Write them down.

This is your proof that you’re not crazy and you’re not selfish. This transition is something that every woman goes through (to varying degrees). You are not alone. Many have gone before you who have changed their lives into pure bliss and paved the way.

The first step is to become aware of your truth. And get comfortable speaking your truth – first to yourself, and then out loud. If you are in crisis mode, then admit you’re in crisis. Giving it a voice starts the healing process.

Next, decide what you want FOR YOURSELF. What do you want? How do you want to feel? What do you want life to look like? Who do you want to be? What are your dreams and desires? How do you want to contribute to the world? What would feel meaningful for you?

This is probably the hardest step for the awakening woman (you).

In the mother phase we learned to put our needs last. We didn’t get to have desires and dreams because we were busy nurturing others’ desires and dreams, so we forgot how to have our own.

But here’s the thing: if you can’t clearly articulate what you want, how does the Universe know what to send to you? It doesn’t. And life never changes.

So, that’s your homework:

(1) Start where you are: Acknowledge the pain. Speak your truth.
(2) Figure out what you want.

I made a discovery tool for you with 100 questions to help you determine what you want. This workbook is so juicy I’m only offering it for free for a short time so get it while it’s free and feel free to share it with your friends. Put your name and email below and download it immediately.

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What’s one thing you want to feel in your life? Let me know in the comments below so we can help you feel that way.

About Jen...

human spirit guide

Jennifer Blumenthal is the Human Spirit Guide + Soul Healer of Seduction of Soul Studio where she teaches women to trust their intuition and helps them {re}connect with their true selves so they can live happy, spirited, fulfilled lives.

Jen’s philosophy: "Trusting your intuition will lead you to the healing you need to shed the layers of who you aren’t in order to find who you really are. The more you become who you truly ARE, the more Soul freedom and fulfillment you’ll experience in your life.”

Want to learn to step into who you truly are and find your Soul happiness? Schedule a free SoulTalk Session with Jen here